matturday:

so I ended my english presentation with “these fatal flaws brought macbeth to his macdeath” and at least 60% of the class groaned

oh my god i feel like the worst friend ever i wish i could do something to help i don’t even know what to say i can’t do anything i wish i could help i am so sorry

cassiesandsnark:

you know i make a lot of threats for someone who is short and cant even do a push up

magicconchshell:

is it too late to wrap myself up like a baby and drop myself off on a billionaire’s doorstep 

lynzave:

my dad used to have an ear piercing in the eighties and someone asked him “does it make you gay if your piercing is on the right side or the left” and he replied “it makes you gay if you love cock”

lolminoot:

Never trust anyone that puts noses in their smiley faces.

fefeferi:

when youre in a fandom that is known for being fucking annoying and youre ashamed of it but you still like the thing